BOTTOM OF THE THIRD: NATIONALS 9 (2) – 0 BREWERS
First of all, I have a conspiracy theory.
Nationals Park, you know those seats behind home plate, that you always see on TV?
They’re not what you think.
They’re… lizard seats.
No! Not that. But really. There’s a conspiracy theory here. Take, for example, not only those seats but all the other seating sections behind home at the new ballparks. The cushy, double-wide VIP setups with the hospitality clubs underneath—at Citi Field, Yankee Stadium, PNC Park, etc.
Ever notice how empty they all look? The best seats in the house, built specifically for comfort, unbeatable views, close enough to talk to the hitters. And they’re empty?
Then, you look a little more closely. You look at the half-empty seats behind the backstop at Nationals Park, you see bits of white text on each of the cushioned backs:
Delta logos, all over, where eligible Nats fans should clearly be.
So here’s the question: are these seats legitimately empty, just as a matter of course; OR are these seats empty by design, bought out by Delta Airlines—to get nine full innings of nonstop advertising space, 81 games a year?
There’s a war out there for your minds, people. Just look around, and see how deep the rabbit hole goes…
Look at the Delta logo. Look again, don’t blink, you might miss it.
Anyway, the Nationals hit five home runs this inning. Back to back to back to back—and hit a fifth one with two batters later.
Five! One inning! Five home runs!
Harper, Zimmerman, Rendon, Difo and Goodwin.
I mean, just look at this fan.
This was, tying the all-time record for an inning, the Home Run Pentagon.
Its first appearance since 2006. And exactly the fifth time the HRP has ever happened. Five home runs in an inning, the fifth time we’ve seen it. A pentagon, in other words, of Home Run Pentagons. And just two and half miles, the way the crow flies, from the real Pentagon. The Pentagon pentagon.
Safe to say these guys could use a new logo on the seat-backs.